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Girlfriend of 1 1/2 years who has my 6 month old baby girl is leaving me this morning when she wakes up because she saw me smoking a cigarette yesterday. We both used to be smokers, her way more than me. Just need some insight Reddit...don't know where to turn.

Hey Reddit. This is a bit of a long post...but I feel it very important that you know what kind of bond and past this girl and I have. I can't believe she is actually leaving tomorrow over something so small.
I've never turned to you before for guidance or help...but you've been so good to me for a long time, and I figured any help that I needed (or even just somebody to listen to what I have to say)..this would be the best place to turn. So while this may be lengthy, if even one of you makes it to the bottom - thank you :)
A couple of years ago, it started with a trip to Las Vegas. My work flew me out there to represent them at a forex convention (foreign currency trading). Of course I said "yes" - it was Las Vegas, and I was newly single...and I just got a rather large bonus too. My ex was still living with me at the I'm an overly nice guy and we had just broken up, and she said that she didn't have anywhere to go. So I told her that she can stay there with my roomies and me (there were 4 of us total..but it was a rather large house) until she gets back on her feet. I fucking hated being in a relationship...I didn't expect to be in another one anytime soon.
While in Vegas, I met this WONDERFUL girl. I knew quite a few people in my industry, and a few buddies whom were there in Vegas for the same convention called me up when I got there and asked me to come smoke some green in their room. Lucky for me, it was in the same hotel I was staying in.
Again..smoking in Vegas with my buddies less than 10 minutes after I check in? Hell yes again.
I walked over there, already super happy about the night's potential. There were a few of my nerdy buddies, and one girl...and the girl was stunning. And outgoing. One of the best girls i've ever met. She was there with one of my buddies as a good friend, so she was single! We had an INSTANT connection. I told her if she came to the conference the next morning, I'd buy her a massage a Qua spa in Caesar's Palace...and she came, so I did ;-) Baller move it turns out, as she tells me later that's what got her.
We both smoked at the time, regularly. Cigarettes and weed. Matter of fact, we smoked BOTH cigarettes and weed in the room that night (the room she was staying in). And she was a HUGE party girl. We're talking some cocaine and what not in her past (I think she did it while I was there), and other things like E, mushrooms, etc. I've never done anything passed weed, and I was what you'd call a "less than popular kid" in highschool while she was VERY obviously popular and everybody loves her.
She liked me so much that even after I told her about my ex living with me, she was cool with it. She even would come over while the ex was gone to avoid conflict even though she didn't have to...came over one day to help me kick the ex out because she was becoming quite the mooch (like I said, I'm overly nice)...and that girl finally left and I thought my life was complete.
I had a girl who didn't mind that I smoked cigarettes, occasionally smoked some weed, etc...and she is GORGEOUS, funny, nice...damn good "happily ever after" if I'd ever seen it.
Then I found out my new girl was pregnant. Shattered my world. Then about 2 minutes later I realized how awesome it was. And even to this day, I think it's amazing because we have a beautiful little girl. She looks alot like me when I was a baby apparently. We talked about what we wanted to do when we found out about it, and knowing each other for not that long, it took a little bit for us to decide to keep it and "give it a try" (which I'm super glad we did!).
I love my girl's parents too, and they love me. Tell me how good of a guy I am. We also decided not to "rush into" marriage, as people may think it was for the wrong reasons when they found out that she was pregnant.
...then yesterday happened.
She stopped smoking when she was pregnant obviously, and asked me to do the same. It took me quite a bit longer...I continued to smoke, because it was hard to quit. I'm sure some of you know how hard it is - but she didn't have a choice. She quit immediately. And I NEVER smoked around her...and when I wasn't around her and smoked, I even went as far as to take my shirt off and use gloves, and then wash my face/hands/brush my teeth after. I was extremely considerate about it.
She would take them from me like I was a second grader though, even though I was considerate. "Do you have any cigarettes on you?" - "Yes" - "Can I see them?" - hands them over - "You can have these back later"
Ok...ok you're just trying to get me to quit, that's fine. But I finally DID quit. And I quit for a long time, way before our daughter was born.
Then, this past week she let me in on the fact that she wasn't happy. I'm pretty much not EXACTLY the guy she wants me to be. I'm generally a clean guy, I pick things up, do the dishes, etc...but she says that I'm basically not clean to her standards. It's basically a bunch of small stuff like that, nothing major.
But it got to the point where I feel she's almost "bully-like". She tells me to do things that are obvious, takes things from me, treats me like a 3rd grader occasionally. Oh, and stopped having sex with me - and tells me "it's not you, it's me. I just don't feel pretty" even though I do EVERYTHING I can to make her feel pretty. I tell her she looks great all the time, i even try to initiate it only to have her tell me that I'm gross and don't shower (which, I can promise you, I'm not gross).
So needless to say I started getting a bit stressed. So I bought a pack of cigarettes and had a couple.
Every day, I walk the dog down to the mailboxes around the corner, so the past couple of days I've smoked while doing it. I stress the past COUPLE OF DAYS. I've probably had about half a the most. I was way too frightened to tell her that I had a "moment of weakness". I thought she'd leave me. She was THAT against smoking, and I felt so bad for doing I knew this pack was a one time thing (which I'm actually really good at - to spite what you non-smokers may think, not everybody who smokes cigarettes is addicted lol). I literally just had a couple.
Then, she came around the corner with our daughter as soon as I was putting them back in my pocket, and saw me. So, she says
"Oh, looks like you have some Camels"
And I was so petrified I just looked at her and then go "...yeah"
So she says "How long have you been smoking?"
And I broke down. I had a panic attack because I had no idea what she was going to do even though I only had a few cigarettes in the past couple of days. So we walk back together, me trying to explain that I just had a moment of weakness, but she didn't want to hear it. Tells me "You can do whatever you want, I don't care, because your daughter and I are leaving for my parents house as soon as I wake up tomorrow morning. And make no mistake, any court would say that she is mine until she is 3. If I have my way, then you will never see her."
That one totally destroyed me.
Then she started basically picking me apart again, says that my cigarette was just the "icing on the cake", and basically tells me she's leaving me. Tells me that she's disgusted that we aren't engaged yet...even though I already asked her dad if I could marry her (he said yes), and I took her dad with me to the ring store to help me pick out a diamond. Then, I took HER to the same ring store and helped her pick out her it's not like I've just been dragging my feet. I haven't bought it yet because I have crap credit so I've been getting cash to pay for it. I just haven't gotten there yet.
To hear somebody that has your child and that you love so much tell you that you're basically nothing over a cigarette...there is no worse feeling that I personally know of. it is at 3am, sleeping on my own couch in a house I pay for (she doesn't have a job, I support her and our baby completely)...just waiting for her to get up and watch her walk out because of a cigarette.
If you've made it this far - thank you. I just needed somebody to listen, and perhaps somebody to tell me what the heck I'm supposed to do, or call me an idiot, something..anything. I just need somebody to talk to.
TL;DR: Love of my life, who smoked cigarettes, weed, etc. with me before our child (and went way above and beyond what I used to do such as occasionally cocaine and shrooms, etc)... Found me smoking a cigarette on the way to the mailbox yesterday when I had a moment of weakness after quitting, and now has decided she wants to leave me. And threaten to never let me see my baby again.
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